We hear the same story all the time boy meets girl, they are young and fall madly in love next thing you know he is getting ready to be deployed.
They start off e-mailing every day. But after a while the sound of her voice starts to fade. The talk, but only once a week. He notices something different in her tone. She stops sending e-mails every day(Atwar)
This leaves one to wonder what is it that truly brings lovers apart? I feel that one the key reasons for this is the isolation of these soldiers deployed overseas. If you look throughout history isolation and longing in times of war is one of the most commonly written about topics in any kind of war story whether novel, movie, or short story. I have been reading Vera Brittain’s Testament of Youth and we find the same occurence as in many other stories as the two lovers; Vera and Roland slowly start to change and grow distant from each other.
“I can scarcely realise that you are there, ” he wrote, after telling me with obvious pride that he had been made acting adjutant to his battalion (216)
I was not to discover for another year how completely the War possessed one’s personality(217)
Love is security, love is comfort, love is physical when not all of these aspects are met any relationship can fall apart. Now throw in the isolation of war and it easy to see why so many enlisted couples end up growing apart.
Nytimes.com, Longing and Love Lost in War- At War Blogs, by Marc Santora
Testament of Youth, by Vera Brittain
Having a relationship is hard enough adding in the distance and stress of deployment makes it extremely difficult. Thankfully, with emails, Facebook, Instant Messenger, and cell phones communication is easier for soldiers to communicate with loved ones back home. I know some couples who are separated because of deployment and it is really hard on both of them. When they have returned, they have to learn how to be a couple again and learn how the other has changed with the time apart. War can change people, so dealing with the person you love changing can lead to the end of a relationship. I also have heard/know a lot of people who have gotten married quickly because of deployment. To me, that is ridiculous. Relationships take a lot of work especially when they are new. I think guilt also comes in to play with military relationships. When someone is deployed they might feel like they are holding back the other person. Trust is also key for any relationship but is a huge component when you are force to me thousands of miles apart. I have heard about many soldiers who have received “Dear John” letters while at war and are then put on suicide watch. I think that absolutely disgusting. I don’t understand how someone could do that to someone they claim to love. However, I think relationships in war time can work if both parties are in it whole heartily.